C'est La Vie

Who I Am

2011-05-08T17:00:00.000-07:00

Tonight while printing out some photographs for my friend Susan Hardman of her father-in-law, Conner Barkley who recently left this earth - I was reflecting on my roll in life as a photographer, a friend and a family member. I always knew I was the photographic documentarian/hoarder of images and of late - extremely clear that I am the provider of memories to those who have lost someone they hold dear...including for myself. I've had my own losses in recent years and know the value of the photographic print.

About midway through my photo career I lept from a quest for fame and money to the realization I simply wanted to take photographs I love and that others will love. It might read trite or simplistic but tis true for me. And so it gives me joy to give others an image to look at in a frame, or pull our of a drawer and remember and feel their heart swell with love and remembrance...not a prize winning photo by any stretch but one that when a tornado hits, or the house is burning or a person you love dies - you go running to find.

It is who I am.

This also had me thinking about death. Interestingly enough I chose to watch the movie WIT last eve - a made for HBO movie with Emma Thompson. The movie revolves around the subject of death and what we do not know about the hereafter - as reflected through and quoted frequently in the film - The Holy Sonnets of John Donne. I thought it beautiful the explanation by Emma's character's professor explaining how John Donne's particular exerpt should be read - not as a drama (ie: Shakespearean) but rather quietly and as a pause rather than an exclamation point or period. I like viewing death that way - because after all none of us knows the answer as to what awaits us...consider death as a pause, a comma.

Here is the exerpt:

DEATH BE NOT PROUD
by John Donne

Death be not proud, though some have called thee
Mighty and dreadfull, for, thou art not soe,
For, those, whom thou think'st, thou dost overthrow,
Die not, poore Death, nor yet canst thou kill mee;
From rest and sleepe, which but thy pictures bee,
Much pleasure, then from thee, much more must flow,
And soonest our best men with thee doe goe,
Rest of their bones, and soules deliverie.
Thou art slave to Fate, chance, kings, and desperate men,
And dost with poyson, warre, and sicknesse dwell,
And poppie, or charmes can make us sleepe as well,
And better then thy stroake; why swell'st thou then?
One short sleepe past, we wake eternally,
And death shall be no more, Death thou shalt die.

In Memory of Conner Barkley

Alone Ain't So Bad

2011-03-29T18:25:00.000-07:00

Tonight I went to my first TEDx committee meeting and afterwards, as it was a very early pleassant spring evening - decided I would like to stop for dinner on the way home. I made phone calls to friends whom shall remain anonymous hoping someone would answer the damn phone and go to dinner with me. Alas - no one answered. As I mused my lonely dilemma - I said to myself "I can do this one alone". Craving sushi, edamame and a good hot sake with a Stella Artois with lemon & orange slice - I decided on Akahana. It was a fantastic meal of sushi, a Tom Goo Long or something like that spicy soup, the desired soy beans and libations. And I found it not lonely at all. What I did find lonely were all the couples and even a single here and there compelled to "be busy" on their smart? phones. And if that wasn't enough diversion for their loneliness or their feelings of not knowing how to interact - there were the two HUGE televisions ensconced on the walls. I did manage a brief conversation with one of the sushi chefs. But I did find I long for the day when monitors were not a part of our lives. When in fact you might break into conversation with the person next to you or the bar man or woman. I actually love technology - to a point. At times we need to unplug and be simply human. The reason I left my own diversion (camera) in the car.

A gesture of love.

2011-03-24T14:04:00.000-07:00

Well I've been through hell and back this past winter with my broken arm. Who knew it could be so bad? I mean I figured prior to this that you fell - got a cast or sling - took it off and that was it. Well nope that's not the case. I was in miserable pain for 2 to 3 months, on meds - which was awful for me since I'm the gal that hates to take an aspirin and began physical therapy in Jan whichi goes on until the end of summer.

But happy to say that today for the first time I feel no nerve pain in my arm or hand and as a result have a huge smile on my face all day. Thanks to my lovely physical therapist Barbara Green.

I'm convinced that the universe does in fact give you what you need - often....and in fact have learned some simple lessons as a result of all this.

And today I wanted to write about love - real love which we get sometimes from unexpected places. And as a result of what I've been through - I have truly experienced love of family, friends and new friends - people who have been so kind and giving.

I've in the past written on Facebook about this wonderful Bosnian couple, Mirjana and Mato, that I have adopted as my Grandparents. Each time I stop I am greeted with such a warm embrace - and somehow we manage to communicate even though they do not speak English and I certainly don't speak Croatian. Although my Droid came in hand the other day when I googled for a translator to ask them something.

Today when I stopped by for a quick visit sweet Mirjana picked this bouquet of violets. I had picked one for her to put over her ear in her hair. She had to reciprocate with a bouquet for me. So here it is. A gesture of love. So simple. Wild violets from her yard. Some call weeds. I call beauty. I call love.